Parallel state of dissatisfaction.

Well I am baffled with my current discontent. I find myself in a situation completely parallel to this time last year in that: I would actually rather be at uni instead of home. For me, this is huge. I don't know what's come over me (apart from lust, independence and a lack of requirement to actually go home)..

This is not like me. Last year all I wanted to do, come the weekend, was escape back up North. Back to home cooked meals and the comfort of my own house. Literally so much has changed since then that I can't even comprehend it myself. In terms of changes, we're talking several romantic exploits, a breakdown of communication within the family and a complete change of heart regarding what I actually want to gain from my chosen degree.

1. Romantic exploits: I'm not going there, this is my blog, not Cosmo. You will however find me lusting all over the place when I'm at uni. Things are good.
2. Communication breakdown: Again, I shan't go into too much detail, it wouldn't be right. I can say though that in the weird arena that is my family, a good 70% of members are not in regular contact (or speaking at all). As much as this baffles me, I am not really in a position to do anything about it. I guess being away from home puts me in the neutral camp, thank goodness, I hate taking sides.
3. Degree: As much as I hate the weekly breakdown consisting of, "oh my god, why have I chosen such a stupid career, I'm not cut out for this, etc, etc" I'm actually really enjoying my degree for the first time (not that I'd admit that to my friends or myself-- wait-- oops). Hey, it's alright I guess.

I guess a big factor to this whole change in me is that essentially; I'm not sure I feel at home, at home anymore. (are you keeping up?) When I am at home, I'm counting down the days until I go back to Nottingham, which is quite frustrating as I hate to feel as if I'm wishing the time away. All I really come home for anymore is to see my dad, and that's really only because I feel guilty that he's on his own all the time.

I like having my independence now, as terrifying as I find it sometimes. I like being able to have guests round to my house at any hour without having to answer to anyone (except Miss 21 Question Lawton, my housemate! But I don't mind that at all).

I just get bored at home, god knows what I'm gonna do when I finish this degree and I actually have to get a real job..