Parallel state of dissatisfaction.

Well I am baffled with my current discontent. I find myself in a situation completely parallel to this time last year in that: I would actually rather be at uni instead of home. For me, this is huge. I don't know what's come over me (apart from lust, independence and a lack of requirement to actually go home)..

This is not like me. Last year all I wanted to do, come the weekend, was escape back up North. Back to home cooked meals and the comfort of my own house. Literally so much has changed since then that I can't even comprehend it myself. In terms of changes, we're talking several romantic exploits, a breakdown of communication within the family and a complete change of heart regarding what I actually want to gain from my chosen degree.

1. Romantic exploits: I'm not going there, this is my blog, not Cosmo. You will however find me lusting all over the place when I'm at uni. Things are good.
2. Communication breakdown: Again, I shan't go into too much detail, it wouldn't be right. I can say though that in the weird arena that is my family, a good 70% of members are not in regular contact (or speaking at all). As much as this baffles me, I am not really in a position to do anything about it. I guess being away from home puts me in the neutral camp, thank goodness, I hate taking sides.
3. Degree: As much as I hate the weekly breakdown consisting of, "oh my god, why have I chosen such a stupid career, I'm not cut out for this, etc, etc" I'm actually really enjoying my degree for the first time (not that I'd admit that to my friends or myself-- wait-- oops). Hey, it's alright I guess.

I guess a big factor to this whole change in me is that essentially; I'm not sure I feel at home, at home anymore. (are you keeping up?) When I am at home, I'm counting down the days until I go back to Nottingham, which is quite frustrating as I hate to feel as if I'm wishing the time away. All I really come home for anymore is to see my dad, and that's really only because I feel guilty that he's on his own all the time.

I like having my independence now, as terrifying as I find it sometimes. I like being able to have guests round to my house at any hour without having to answer to anyone (except Miss 21 Question Lawton, my housemate! But I don't mind that at all).

I just get bored at home, god knows what I'm gonna do when I finish this degree and I actually have to get a real job..

Recent findings!

Apperently then, I'm still terrible at maintaining a regular blog. Often I have plenty to talk about however, as previously mentioned, I am quite lazy at times. On other occasions, I struggle to find anything interesting enough to talk about. SO, I  thought I might have a little natter about some of my recent findings, i.e. music, film, TV, art.. Whatever!
Here goes.

Flight of The Conchords
For ages now, FOTC has been on my endless list of things to get round to watching. I'm almost embarrassed that it's taken me so long to see it! It's so my cup of tea! It really is delightful, and yes, I cringe at myself for using that word. I've instantly fallen in love with Brett, Jemaine & Murray, I love the New Zealand accent, I love Brett's jumpers and their songs are such perfectly constructed parodies of genres. It's my new favourite thing and I might be a little bit obsessed with it.

Looper
Finally I got to see it and I wasn't disappointed. When it came out at the cinema, I was dying to see it but the opportunity never really arose. I admit that one contributing factor that stopped me seeing it for so long was that I wasn't too sure about the facial mixing of Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Bruce Willis.. If Joseph Gordon-Levitt is in a film, I pretty much just want to stare at his beautiful face. Anyway, I did enjoy the film, the narrative wasn't exactly what I expected but I was pleasantly surprised.

In Bruges
Another film on the endless list of films I needed to see. I really enjoyed it actually, the colour palette is gorgeous (sorry that's the design student in me, speaking) and I do like a surprisingly dark comedy. This film also gave me an excuse to spend the rest of the evening speaking with an Irish accent.. (any excuse)..

Foals
(also on the neverending list.. blah blah blah) Finally got around to having a browse through their discography and found some familiar tracks. I really like their newer stuff but that might be because I seem to be hearing it all over the place recently!

Young The Giant
I don't really know a lot about this band yet as I really just stumbled upon them by accident. That said, I'm looking forward to looking into them a bit more as I'm really liking their sound. The singer's voice is really nice and they're a pretty easy band to listen to. Favourite songs so far: Cough Syrup and Strings.

So there you go. WHO KNOWS, maybe I'll do this regularly (hahahahahaha)

Friendship should be effortless.

"Best friends" is a term that is thrown around a lot, often far too easily. I myself, am guilty of attaching the term to my friends fairly quickly. I suppose this is because I am quite an open person when it comes to making friends, although actually, I try to deny this.

I regularly say "I dislike people before I like them" which is true enough. I often approach new social situations with my guard completely up, unless something has indicated that I should act otherwise; i.e. I've already been given a good impression of the person who I might usually approach cautiously.

Recently I've been thinking a lot about friendship, and what determines whether or not I call someone "a friend". Some people hate using the term "best friends" as they feel it's exclusive and uneccessary; fair enough. Personally, I've always had someone who I call "my best friend" although there's usually two or three people to whom I attach this title at a time. For example, there are always two or three people from my past for whom the phrase "best friend" will always be attached, just because I've known them for so long, we've experienced so much together and I'll always make time to see them. (I refer to Jonny, Henry & Helen) I wasn't going to name names, but it's my blog, I'll do what I like!

Myself, Henry & Jonny.

 

Here at uni, I've been having a bit of a moral dilemma RE: defining friendship. I have several people here who I'd happily class as "best friends," but of course, you always have favourites. And I totally understand that you go through different phases, friends come and go dependent on your interests and attitudes, your physical location and sometimes, dependent on how much you actually have in common.

I've recently come to a definite conclusion though; a friendship works both ways, it shouldn't be one sided. It shouldn't be a case of being friends when it suits one person, or one person making all the effort to arrange things. A friendship should be effortless.

One obstacle, I've discovered recently, is finding out that you don't have that much in common that you thought you did. That's something that really chips away at a friendship and there's sadly not a lot that you can do about it. It's worse when one half of the duo doesn't realise this and so the other half starts to feel bitterness towards the whole friendship. It's a funny old situation to be in. Not nice at all, actually.

Distance is another massive contributor to dampening a friendship, this I've found though, ties in with how much effort each person is willing to put into maintaining the relationship. My best friend from college falls into this category; we were literally inseperable. Then university comes along (aswell as boyfriends) and the whole thing falls apart. Thanks distance, you bitch.

There are friends who you know you can rely on and friends you think you can rely on until they massively let you down. Needless to say, I've encountered one or two of these, too!

HOWEVER! AS MUCH AS I MAY SEEM LIKE A WHINEY BITCH, I DO HAVE SOME EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD FRIENDS.

Clockwise: Alec, Charlotte, Chester, Abi & Me.

 

This bunch here are amazing and literally, they are my favourite people here in Nottingham. Alec, because he's painfully honest! Charlotte, because you literally can't get nicer (or sassier). Chester, well, just because he's Chester and he's a badass. Then there's Abi, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, MY SEXY WIFE! But seriously, she's a genuinely excellent person. These people improve my whole life and I don't know how I've come so far along without them; I certainly can't imagine them not being a part of me now.

I'm writing this at the end of my second term of my second year at university. This has been the best term yet and I'm having the most amazing time here, all because of this lot. I love them dearly.



 

Sophie & Char.

(People that I know are definitely going to read this and relate it to themselves.. my bad.. Also don't be pissed if you didn't get a mention, you muppets, that's not what this is for..)